“I have more than 200 pictures of her, and she doesn’t know anything about it. I tried to be discreet and ignored her as much as possible but it didn’t last long because we both knew that we feel the same way”
It was a sizzling hot late afternoon. I was too exhausted while queuing in a very long line, a usual scenario in this university during every enrolment, along with other hundreds of students hoping that we can still finish one-half of the five-part enrolment procedure. I was still an incoming freshman student then, and everything around me is new, including the very tiring enrolment process that I didn’t experience since first grade.
After a couple of minutes of standing still like a Robocop, I was able to sit down and relax a bit while waiting for my turn to pay the miscellaneous fees. I looked outside the window and watched the worm-like falling of lines of the students that almost consumed the university pathways. I felt pity to those people who were falling in very long lines under the extreme heat of the sun. How I wish the high–ranking officials of this university could do something about it. But I rather pity myself more because I’m still on the first part of being enrolled and sooner or later, the subjects that I’ll going to take will be closed.
Finally, it was my turn. After how many hours of standing I can now pay the miscellaneous fees. I draw a 500-peso bill from my wallet and gave it to the woman who was managing the fees for the college and FUPTA fund. While I was waiting for my change, I sneak a look at a pleasant looking young lady just right on the doorstep leaning on the wall while an older woman who accompanied her talked to a university faculty who was managing that part of the enrolment.
I never have seen her before since the time I entered the walls of this institution. But one thing is for sure, undoubtedly, she caught my attention unswervingly at first sight. She was just so simple, and her looks is amazingly alluring. I was engrossed by her pleasant-looking face and her demure personality.
That was the first time I first laid my eyes on her and that was unforgettable. And from that moment up to the next days, I have got an ultimate crush on her and every time I see her in the campus I would surely stop and secretly look at her noting that my cheeks would turn hot-pepper-red if she would look back at me, at very rare times.
Months have passed and many things changed so as my feelings for her. My little crush for her turned into tremendous obsession. Good thing that we were classmates in my English subject this school year 2010-2011, 2nd semester. I would secretly sneak a look at her every time we were heading our way down the stairs after dismissal. There are times that she caught me looking at her but I would just ignore her, trying not to be too obvious.
I am obsessed with her. I have more than 200 pictures of her, but she doesn’t know anything about it. I tried to be discreet and ignored her as much as possible, but it didn’t last long. Because finally, the dream that once I believed to only happen in my imagination has turned into reality.
I asked her to go with me on one cloudy afternoon. The skies were dark and weary as if it will going to rain. I looked at her with love and everything around us was like in slow motion. I did not want that day to end ─ I didn’t want the clock to move its long arm ─I wanted that moment to have a never ending.
The moon came anchoring the path we walked. She stunned the darkness of the night, and stars envy her beauty─ her simplicity and demure personality are the ones that made me adore her most. The rain fell down and our faces were covered with raindrops. I shoved a hanky from her side pocket and wiped her face so gently, as she did the same thing to me. I wanted to touch her white skin and warm myself in her arms.
I can’t look at her straight because every time I do, it makes me want to kiss her ─ her lips were tempting me and I was shaking not because I was cold but because my heart was beating too fast.
Her eyes were magical enough to cease every moment. I held her hands as we looked in each other’s eyes. No doubt I was in love and this was no ordinary love ─ this was different and was way beyond I can Imagine. My nose was so close to her breath. Our faces were almost stuck together and I can hardly breathe.
“I want to marry you someday. I mean, I like you a lot. I mean, I want to be with you and I will love you even if you will have white hairs and arthritis” I was catching for air while these words came out from my mouth. She giggled and eventually smiled at me. I paused for a while because I thought all the things I was saying would freak her out. Her lips came closer and closer next to mine.
I froze and I can’t move while my face was turning red. I did not breathe for seconds. She did not utter a word. She just stared at me as if there was something wrong with my face. When I thought all went topsy-turvy and when I thought my fairy tale will turn into a terrible nightmare, she kissed me.
“I am not fond of believing that relationships will last for eternity, it is vague. But I know that ours is different, this is true love and whenever alteration finds–whether you’ll have white hair or you’ll be more “tambok” nor you’ll have arthritis, my feelings for you will never change.”