Sometimes, you just need to say what you want to say. Because in either way, the two of you won’t get elsewhere but only closer to the truth – That you feel the same way and you can’t live without the other — The Salamander
The glass window cracked open, and she came in. I watched her as she glided gracefully towards me, and at that moment, I thought she was the most attractive girl in the world. She walked nearer to me, maybe a few meters or so, and I found out that there was a gentle thrill in my heart that only happens every time we meet. It was a mixture of inner emotions that every man rarely experienced unless he is deeply in love, but I wasn’t sure. I don’t know if there is love or what I feel for her is just mere friendship.
“Hi,” she said, and I made sure that our eyes would meet. She grinned at me for a moment, and gradually it turned to a beautiful smile, the one that meets the corners of her ears. I nodded, not because it was the only thing I could do. It’s just that I’ve got no words to say. Then, I smiled back. I looked at her eyes again, and they sparkled like fine emeralds in the sand of time.
And again, since the first time we met, as she caught me looking at her like that, I wondered if she knew what I was thinking. I wondered if she knew that I think she was beautiful. I wondered if she knew that I think she had been always very feminine, and attractive to me. And I also wondered if she was even aware of her looks.
We were always like this last summer. Every other day, if I have a vacant period from my summer classes, we would meet at McDonald’s. It was our escape from boredom and our only way of enjoying what summer could offer.
“So how’s your day,” she asked me as she fished two sticks of thin-sized potato fries from a cartoon box. I said my day was fine and that I hate it when the sun is too hot. She nodded, too, because she prefers walking under the rain than staying outside under the heat of the sun.
For a while, she turned her head slowly from left to right, as if searching for someone. Eventually, she looked at me and drove her eyes to a girl at her left. “She’s beautiful,” she said. I nodded again, and glanced at the girl she was referring to. The truth was, I didn’t find the girl pretty because she was there in front of me. For me, she was the one who was beautiful. Then, I looked at her.
“What?” she asked.
I smiled, “Nothing.” Then, I pulled a set of hand-outs from my bag and started reading the important things I need to remember for my exam the next day. With a surprising tone, she asked, “Is that really you?”
“What? I’m a goody-goody student now.” I continued reading the hand-outs with my hands. In a while, I heard her laughing. She didn’t believe my first statement. “You see, I want to pass my subjects. That’s why I’m studying.”
“I know. But that’s just so not you.”
“I’m hurt.” Then, she laughed again. Sometimes, I wondered why all the things I said to her that have sense was funny or was it just me that looked so funny every time I utter adult-like statements.
I turned the next page and have realized that none of the things I’ve read sunk into my brain. She’s a good distraction after all. “So, how’s your love life?” She seemed surprised with my question. Actually, it’s not the first time I asked her something like this.
“You asked me that the other day. Have you forgotten? I said I’m not into love. Anyways, you should get one. You’ve been single for one and half year already,” she shrugged.
“I know. I don’t want to get any. I’m enjoying this.”
“This. You and me. Here in Mcdonald’s every other day. I love this. I need no girlfriend.”
She did not respond. I held my bottle of coke that I ordered earlier and sipped some. It was not in a few minutes that we talked again after a couple of young so-in-love couples came in. “See that?”
“Gosh! Their teens. They don’t know what’s love. They’re just hopeless romantic,” she snapped.
“Of course they do. What’s wrong with you?” I said. Her smile turned into a frown. She shook her head and said it’s nothing. I nodded and signaled him to continue eating her potato fries.
I scanned my notes for the next chapter lessons. Yet again, I couldn’t focus. I sometimes wondered why she couldn’t get me. Why she couldn’t, at least, get the idea that I like her. Why she couldn’t define what I meant when I look at her.
It’s been so long a wait, I guess. I need to ask her now. “You free tonight?”
“Why? You’re asking me for a date?” she giggled.
“Yes, because I like you. Don’t you know that?”
She was silent. She fished another stick of fries and sipped her soda. I was nervous. I could feel my hands involuntarily shaking by what I have asked. I didn’t mean it but I like what I did. I tried to look up and find her eyes, but she just kept on looking down, as if thinking for something.
The chair cracked a sound and I could see her getting her bag, might getting ready for an exit. I knew it was a bad timing. I shouldn’t have done that. She stood up and shove the chair back to its proper place. This is goodbye, I thought for myself.
“See you at eight o’clock, then.” she smiled and walked away.
Note: This story is a general work of fiction. This story was published in The NORSUnian, the official weekly student publication of Negros Oriental State University (NORSU). I purposely wrote this story to entertain and to give a good read the students of the said university.