Until now, he still does not know when was the exact time that he found her attractive. Was it the first time? the second? the third? the fourth? Perhaps, things are a little bit confusing if you do not take them seriously. People are unimportant if you do not reconsider them, that somehow, at some point, they have value.
The first time they kissed, she asked him if he likes her. "Why do you ask?" he said. And that was it. He had known women for such a long time. He managed to read their thoughts, the motives of their eyes. But he never wanted any relationship this time. He just need someone who can accompany him when the time comes that he needs a woman. His motive is rather physical in nature.
But the truth? it is not physical. They are emotionally entwined with each other. Each time they meet and kiss, he began to feel something awkward that he tried to keep within himself. She asked him several times about their relationship but never even once he mentioned his feelings for her. For him, she was just a pastime, something to be remembered when he is bored.
He ignored her several times. He does not answer her calls and text messages. He contacts her in times of boredom, in occasions when he is tired of playing computer games. He thought of her as a friend. But they are more than that. It is a complicated thing that he himself is reluctant to know.
She grew tired with him. She sure knows that she is beautiful, and many guys are waiting for her go signal if not because of him. She left his boyfriend for him. Her reasons are apparent and obvious. But he remained jerk and oblivious about it. He is a jerk, indeed.
Now, she does not care about him anymore. The last time he asked her to watch a movie in the big screen, she declined. She is not easy to get. He shall know that. But there are no regrets for his part. He convinced himself more so often than any other issues he had in the past. He has feelings for her, yes. But he is tired and does not have time to act upon it.